The weeks that followed the miscarriage in October were spent in a daze. My mind was pulled in several directions at once. With the holidays coming up, I was angry at the pressure to put on a happy face. Yet, I decked the halls (as you can see for yourself by scrolling through my Instagram) because I was desperate to delve into anything to keep my mind distracted.
I went to the Dollar Tree not long afterwards as well. Mike took me shopping for supplies because I suddenly wanted to do nothing but blog and get BellaKarma off the ground again. So I stocked up on pink binders and bright colored index cards and decorative sticky notes. But despite a handful of successful brainstorming sessions, the motivation was short-lived.
By the time my favorite weather of the cool air and clouds of November rolled in, I had taken to being a recluse in our bedroom. Then one day I came across a single crochet chevron pattern by Rescued Paw Designs while perusing Pinterest.
There's been many articles written about the healing powers and mental health benefits from crocheting — there are even books on how the craft has saved lives (*I make a commission for purchases made through the following link.) — which I can attest to. So when I recognized the downward spiral of depression, I grabbed life by the yarn balls and cast on to fend off the debilitating effects of grief. I soon found solace in each repetitious stitch.
I've always been upfront about being The World's Slowest Crocheter, therefore, the fact I finished this blanket in exactly a month (November 4th, 2015-December 4th, 2015) proves this is all I did, all day long. And I believe this is how I became pregnant again against the odds. Allow me to elaborate:
From what I've read (and was told repeatedly), getting pregnant the old-fashioned way at forty was quite an achievement. Add Fibromyalgia to the mix, and it seemed almost miraculous. But it also carried a much higher risk of miscarriage. I spent a great deal of time reading what I must have done wrong (there wasn't anything, of course). In my research, I read time and time again how important it was to be in a good place, psychologically, before becoming pregnant again.
Now, we weren't planning on getting pregnant again! I didn't think it was possible (I know, I know). Hell, we didn't plan on getting pregnant the previous time (no, I don't need to be explained how biology works). But around the same time I was finishing up one creation, another kind was beginning in belly.
I became pregnant nearly exactly two months after miscarrying. For me, it was a sign that having a baby was meant to be for us. And I believe the meditative art of crocheting helped my mind and body recover quicker. In fact, I've continued to be crafty, either it be with words or wool, throughout this pregnancy because of its calming effect.
This afghan, as you can imagine, holds a special place in my heart. It kept me from becoming cold, in more ways than one. I guess you can say I made my own security blanket at forty-one years old.
You can see more photos of the past progression of the Comfort Chevron Blanket by scrolling through my Instagram found here. And be sure to follow —I'd love to see how you capture life!